In an attempt to cut costs, some companies forgo professional translation services and make do with machine translation or ask a bilingual associate to translate marketing materials. Although the results can sometimes be quite funny, such companies rarely laugh all the way to the bank.

Here is a sampling of real-life translation bloopers:

* Kellogg had to rename its Bran Buds cereal in Sweden when it discovered that the name roughly translated to “burned farmer.”

* An Israeli dating company didn’t think twice before coupling the Hebrew word for intimate – “intimi” with the English “date” to create Intimidate dating services.

* Also in Israel, in a Jerusalem restaurant menu “haloumi cheese” turned into “dream cheese.”

* When Pepsico advertised Pepsi in Taiwan with the ad “Come Alive With Pepsi” they had no idea that it would be translated into Chinese as “Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the dead.”

* In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into “Schweppes Toilet Water.”

* The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as “Ke-ke-ken-la.” Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means “bite the wax tadpole” or “female horse stuffed with wax” depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, “ko-kou-ko-le,” which can be loosely translated as “happiness in the mouth.”

* Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan “finger-lickin’ good” came out as “eat your fingers off.”

* The Dairy Association’s huge success with the campaign “Got Milk?” prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read “Are you lactating?”

* An American t-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope’s visit. Instead of the desired “I saw the Pope” in Spanish, the shirts proclaimed “I saw the Potato.”

* The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, “Salem – Feeling Free,” got translated in the Japanese market into “When smoking Salem, you feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty.”

Signs

* In the lobby of a Moscow hotel: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

* In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

* In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push the button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

* Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop–Drive sideways.

* At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

* In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The elevator is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

* In a Paris hotel: Please leave your values at the front desk.